TOFFEE BREAK

Merry Christmas Eve!

I couldn't help thinking of my neglected blog. Poor neglected child. I'm sorry.

Will a wonderful Toffee recipe make it up to you guys?

Recipe adapted from Piece of Cake:

1 cup whole raw almonds (*substituted for chopped walnuts for topping)
1/2 pound unsalted butter (2 cups)
1 generous teaspoon fleur de sel (*used sea salt)
1 cup plus 6 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 tablespoon corn syrup (*omitted--instead I did something crazy and spontaneous by adding a splash of Bailey)
6 ounces high quality semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used a mixture of Newman's Own Organics, Nutella Hazelnut Spread, and Hershey's Cocoa Powder)



Directions

Line a rectangular pan with wax paper. Butter the pan.

Drop 1/2 pound of butter into a medium size pot. Wait until it's about 3/4 melted to add in salt and sugar. Keep stirring until the color begins to turn brown. Pour in a splash of Bailey's. Make sure it's just a small drop so the taste of the alcohol doesn't overpower the toffee mixture. Keep stirring until the mixture feels almost like taffy and the color turns almost amber brown. Turn off the fire but keep stirring.

Pour the toffee into the prepared pan. Smooth out the bubbles. Let the toffee cool. Meanwhile, melt the chocolate mixture. Once melted, pour on top of toffee. Sprinkle with chopped walnuts. Wait for the candy to cool before placing into the fridge for further solidification. Once harden, you can hammer and break into pieces.


I packed the treats into transparent plastic cups filled with Newman's Own Organics Cinnamon Alphabet Cookies, Ghiradelli White Chocolate Chips, Newman's Own Organic Spelt Pretzels, and Newman's Own Organic Milk Chocolate Squares.

Thanks again Newman's Own Organics for letting me spread the love and holiday joy!

Cheers!

JUST LIKE THAT

Remember how the main character Jenna in the movie, Waitress dreams up of all these pies and makes them the next day at Joe's Pies?


That's me--well, minus the pie making...and working at Joe's Pies.

I loved that movie and just like Jenna, I find myself constantly dreaming up recipes or meals to make.

Today, I experimented with spaghetti squash for the first time. The directions online for how to cook the squash sounded pretty simple. The flavoring and garnishes seemed simple too.

Just like that, I created this meal within about 15 minutes.


"Spaghetti" with spinach, a sprinkle of sea salt and drizzle of sesame oil. A tiny bit of dried cranberries on the side and one chopped avocado. I wanted to see if putting cranberries in there would taste good but after trying the combination, I must admit I can probably do without.

IT'S NOT THAT...

It's not that I can't think of anything witty to say right now, it's just that my nose is stuffed, my head is clogged, and I'm chugging down hot tea like there's no tomorrow to hope the ample fluid will cleanse my weak body.

That's how I feel--freezing and wanting to throw a tantrum--except I'm indoors, it never snows here, I'm 10 years older, and I can't shamelessly cry in public anymore.

It's not that I surround myself with people who smoke and drink beer, it's just that they surround themselves around me.


I went running yesterday and noticed these bad buddies in our yard AND next to our mailbox. A Christmas present from our new neighbors?
Thanks Neighbors. We appreciate it.

It's not that I fear going back to school after my winter break, it's just that I fear failure, a.k.a, receiving anything other than an A on my report card.

Help me on this one. I've been told countless number of times that grades don't matter in grad school because everyone receives high grades. However, high grades still consist of an "A" or "B." I cannot get a B because I'm paying too much out of my own pocket for my tuition to end up with a B at the end of the semester. Work harder you tell me? Yes, I concur. I do work hard. I work so hard that I rarely have time to myself; rarely have a break. I work so hard that this "break" is not much of break...which is why I'm sick.

I understand that all I can expect out of myself is to try my best but what if my hardest isn't enough? What if I'm not trying my hardest but I just believe I am?

What if I'm just being paranoid and giving myself too much pressure you say? Yes. I'm female. I over analyze.

Ugh. HELP.

It's not that my interest in food has declined today, I was just saving the best for last.

I find my food less enjoyable these days.

I've been craving peanut butter but the peanuts combined with its sweet content makes me susceptible to rashes. So I opted for the fake, altered Better n' Peanut Butter.


...Diluted with my mom's homemade unsweetened soymilk.

The end product barely has a hint of peanut buttery-ness and obviously didn't satisfy my cravings. My mom asked me so politely this morning after noticing the ambiguous substance in the bowl: "What is that stuff?"

I think I watered it down a bit too much. What do you think?

It's not that I dislike my mom's homemade food, it's just that since I've transitioned to being 90% vegetarian, I've become more picky and more opposed to eating foods with hidden bits of meat in my food.

My mom strives to give me that proper nutrition so she sneaks these meat pieces inside our food. I also cannot be so selfish because the rest of my family still eats meat and I cannot expect my mom to cook fully vegetarian meal to cater to me. However, I've grown rather cranky lately whenever I do not get what I want (especially when it comes to food). Blame it on my sickeness? PMS? Hmmm...

However, I know my mom is trying her hardest satisfy the omnivores and herbivores in the family.

Yesterday's meal consisted of two types of homemade dumplings: spinach, scrambled eggs, and mushroom dumplings and beef, shrimp cabbage dumplings.

It's not easy being a mother. I know.

I should be a better daughter.

BLOGWORLD, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU...

My family and I have just moved across town. It's been so crazy I don't think I've fully recovered. I've been without the internet for about 2 weeks. I thought the withdrawal from the virtual world would make me panic.

Reason #1:
I'm an E-MAIL FREAK. If you kept count of the times I checked my e-mail on a daily basis, you'd probably tell me to just go get a Blackberry. Heck, I don't even use my cellphone as much as I check my e-mail. That's how bad it is.

Reason #2:
I'm a FOODIE. Have we not established that when I started this blog? I probably check food blogs as much as I check my e-mail. (Hmm..my symptoms remind me of ADD but I promise you my doctor tells me that I'm "normal.") I really cannot live without my daily dose of food blogs, just like those who need to read their morning paper.

I must sound like a hopeless cause right now but having gone through two weeks without internet, you guys would be proud to find that I DID survive. I actually didn't mind because I was given something better in return.

Gift #1

Work, an internship, school, spending time with the boyfriend has really left me little time with my FAMILY. However, these two weeks gave me ample time to talk to my mom, help clean up the house, and really allow the whole family to have more engagement with each other since our new house is only one rather than two stories.

Gift #2:

I BAKED.

Chunky Hunky Chocolate Cookies


Recipe:
2 C flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
170g butter
1 C light brown sugar
1/2 C sugar
1 egg
1 egg yolk
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 C chocolate pieces

Snickers Sugar Cookies


Recipe:
2 3/4 C flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 C softened butter
1/2 C sugar
1 tsp rum
4 mini Snickers chopped

Gift #3:

NEWMAN'S OWN ORGANICS (NOO) came in the mail for me. I had seen their products on other people's blogs and had asked to try them. I had expected just a couple of items but the package was almost too heavy to lift! Thanks Sally for organizing the whole thing and thank you Newman's Own Organics for their generosity!
I couldn't contain my excitement and ripped open the NOO Soy Crisps Barbecue Flavor. I let my family be the genie pigs. I'm happy to report that they loved it as much as I did!



The crisps were a cross between the airy crunch of popcorn but the texture of crackers. The more you chew, the more the BBQ flavor comes out.

My sister couldn't hide how she feels about 'em crisps. She kept saying, "Okay, just one more..." (She really meant 1/2 a bag more).

The best thing about these babies is that the ingredients are simple. I admire Sally's honesty when she had told me that these snacks may not be the best "health foods" but they at least contain ingredients that I can pronounce.


She's right. With all the hype about living a healthy lifestyle, we tend to forget that organic staples are not all healthy for us and that we still need to eat in moderation.

Well, I'll leave it here for now but no worries, there will be a lot more of these NOO reviews to come :). Meanwhile, I'm jumping on the holiday season bandwagon by spreading my NOO love to my friends and co-workers.

WITHOUT YOU...

I cherish meals I can enjoy alone. The peacefulness allows me to savour the taste of my food.

I like running alone. I love the morning chill as my breath beats to the rhythm of my footsteps.

I love the smell of a warm comforting breakfast as I run by the houses. I love the smell butter and sugar as I run past bakeries that haven't opened its doors for the day yet. Food makes me smile.

Alone.

I always thought that I wouldn't mind living this lifestyle. After all, I am an independent woman who can take care of herself. However, I am starting to believe that it is human nature to seek

companionship (probably for procreation reasons).

Is it just me or can you feel the moment when you get fed up with being single and you long to establish an intimate relationship? Somehow having your friends and immediate family isn't enough anymore.

Since I've met you, I can't seem to remember a moment without you.

You left yesterday.

I thought I would stop time and enjoy this alone moment.

But it doesn't feel right. Even cooking and baking doesn't seem as satisfying as when I knew that you were near.

So this is what people mean when they say that they are "missing their other half." I miss my other half. You make me happy.

...Like FOOD :)

MEN

I never quite understood why my mother got so mad at us when we didn't rush to the dinner table when she called. She would yell until her voice grew hoarse. I thought she was playing game with us. The last person to the table wins. Usually, my dad or I would win.

I never quite understood why my mother would come home moody. She would make a loud raucous while wrestling with the pile of unwashed dishes in the sink. I thought she was creating her own rock and roll band.

I never quite understood why chauvinistic men think they should be treated like kings.

You cook.

You do the dishes.

I've worked all day. I deserve to rest.

The world from their perspective is so narrow, it's almost like playing a game of Where's Waldo?; so caught up in themselves, they don't even notice the people around them.

WAKE UP! Modern women work too.

**********

Dear Mom,

I'm sorry. You've warn me when I was younger that being a woman is hard but I never understood. Playing the roles of a mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sibling, and career woman all seemed the same to me.

Now that I'm older and wiser, my world has also gotten bigger. I notice the wrinkles on your hands are from washing too many dishes. The callus on your feet are from walking the distance to get us what we wanted. We didn't deserve the prize. We're not worthy of your grand heart.

I know you've worked so hard to pave a better path for us.

You come first in my life. Next comes my search for a good man.

Wish me luck.

Slather with lots of Lotion and Love,

Your Daughter

WHEN I GROW UP...

Funny how every year, no matter how old I get, I always speak of my future starting with the lines, "Well, when I grow up...".

I define growing up as having a stable career but I haven't found my niche yet. I wander aimlessly from job to job. At every job, my employers constantly praised me for a job well done.

No, I don't deserve the compliments. I wouldn't call this place home. I wouldn't consider all of you my family.

When I can have that kind of relationship with an organization, then I know that that is where I want my career to begin. Then, I have grown up.

I noticed a lot of food bloggers who realized through their blogging experience that they want to dedicate their careers to promoting nutrition and healthy living.

I secretly started this blog because I wasn't ready to reveal my food obsession. I started this blog approximately 11 months ago. Not very avid in the beginning, but now I'm hooked.

My ideal career encourages others to be active and live a healthy lifestyle. Finding that perfect organization can be difficult. Working in the food and health industry may be risky because they constantly have to be on the lookout for new additions to their product lines.

However, I started this blog wanting to find true happiness and if that happiness lies in my passion for food, then it's time to break down that barrier and start searching.

I PROMISE

I promise that today will be the day I place full commitment in becoming a better me.

Cheers to:

A better health
A better mentality
A better me

In the end, I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror each morning and be proud of my exterior as well as interior features.

Emotional Eating

My mother told me a while back about Emotional Intelligence: the innate ability to manage one's emotions. When someone is in control of their own emotions, they can enhance social effectiveness.

Well Mama, does one of the branches on the EI tree include EE?

Ah...Emotional Eating.

You know how there are AA meetings for recovering alcoholics? There should be EE meetings for women (and men who are brave enough to trudge on a woman's terrain).

Controlling my food intake is easy when I'm alone and when I plan my own meals, but when I'm with others, like my family and friends, I tend to let go when I see others let go.

I think I'm also in more control of eating habits when I'm not so stressed. Lately, I've been panicking about preparing to start grad school this fall. It's not only thrown off my eating cycle, but also given me unpleasant and often unrelated dreams. Consequently, I wake up each morning feeling very tired while my stomach starts its day off craving carbs, sweets, and anything HEAVY.

Yesterday, for example, was practically the first day out of maybe 2 weeks since I've spent quality time with my family. We each did our own thing as we congealed at our dining table with a myriad of fruits and snacks on the table. I was enjoyed seeing my sister and mother happily snacking.
MISTAKE: I joined in.

* Note: I had been feeling a bit bloated for the past 2 days.

I wasn't hungry but I wanted to try a bit of everything. I gorged on sweet, juicy, and plump nectarines, blueberries, grapes, cherries...Oh the never ending list...And my never ending chewing...

By the end of my food rampage, I had managed to skip lunch and felt even more bloated.

The guilt also kicked in. I tried to combat my conscience by doing some (incomplete) yoga only to have my lovely sister almost barge into the room to tell me to eat dinner. I also started cleaning out our garage before heading out for a run. I also went for a walk with a friend.

Despite all this, you'd think I did enough to lose all that extra intake but the bloated feeling and side cramps didn't go away. The guilt was still there.

I woke up this morning feeling tired but hungry. I decided to go back to counting calories. When I logged in my breakfast this morning, I almost freaked out when the screen read almost 850 calories.

Yeah. I didn't lie right?

Emotional Eating. Sign me up.

I Chopped Up the Apples and the Recipe Too...

Hey guys!

Just found this amazing recipe online. It's crunchy on the outside and chewy (thank you

Mr. Apple) on the inside. As I'm sure the original recipe is just as amazing, I had to adapt

it to my likes and dislikes.

So I chopped it up. I added stuff. I threw away stuff. I

crossed out stuff. I italicized stuff. Yup. That's the way I roll when I bake.

I'm a disaster.

But oh the products tastes so good :)

Apple Cranberry Oatmeal Cookies

Adapted from Dragon's Kitchen

Recipe:
3 cup quick oats, uncooked
3/4 cup all purpose flour whole wheat flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon a pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup unsalted butter 1/4 cup oil
1 1/4 1/2 cup brown sugar - firmly packed
1 egg
1/3 cup milk
3 tablespoons honey
2 1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups dried cranberries
1 cup apple, peeled, cored and chopped finely

1/2 cup pecans

Breakout Outbreaks

Is it just me? Yes, when I'm frustrated with an issue, I like to be egocentric.

Here's my issue:

Every month, about 1 to 2 weeks before the Menstrual Cycle Fairy comes to pay me a visit, I breakout. It's not one or two cute little red babies planting themselves on my face but an invasion--a rash outbreak plus one to two humongous babies sitting oh so comfortably on me.

Here is what I don't understand:

I don't eat junkfood. I haven't eaten junkfood since probably 8th grade. Therefore, it's not like I have toxins in my body and they are producing these munchkins every month.

I'm a clean freak when it comes to my face and hygiene.

I'm physically active. I run. I do yoga.

I drink lots of water. My KleanKanteen is being refilled at least 5 times a day.



I eat lots of veggies and fruits. As noted, I'm about 95% vegetarian. I LOVE fruits. I eat some kind of fruit after every meal.

Potential Causation:

I eat too much sweets, especially before my monthly cycle. I know craving sweets is one of the symptoms but my kind of sweets is mostly natural. I eat lots of fruits to replace my sugar cravings. Sometimes, I eat some homemade oatmeal cookies made with brown sugar or honey instead of white sugar.


Do these types of sweets also affect my hormonal balance?

I leave you with a cookie.

Well, We're Just All Over the Place Today, Aren't We?

See? I've been getting better at this updating thing, no?

I woke up this morning hungry. Scratch that. I ALWAYS wake up hungry.

One time, I stuffed myself with all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ STILL woke up hungry the next day. However, don't worry, my herbivore friends, I will never do that again because I'm in the process of slowly transitioning into a vegetarian diet. I must admit that I will probably never be 100% vegetarian because my omnivore family, particularly my mother (I love you mom!), doesn't believe that I can be nourished just eating plants, nuts, and seeds (awww..but ma!).

Nevertheless, since my transition, I find that my digestion is better and I don't constantly feel HEAVY. I hate that feeling. Every time after I eat meat, even in moderation, I feel as if I'm lugging around 10 pounds of fertilizer in my stomach.

Sorry to go off on a tangent. Let's get back to breakfast.

So I'm scrounging around our fridge to see what I can mix up.
Side not: I LOVE combining ingredients. It's like learning about how to mix your primary colors to produce secondary colors. I feel such joy when I hit that right combination of flavors! It just makes food more enjoyable.

I see new cans of Yoplait Thick & Creamy Vanilla Yogurt. Their marketing strategies are just amazing. I love that golden lid complementing that soft yellow layout. Thumbs up!


I spin the can to the back to read the ingredients. "High fructose corn syrup." Hmmm..that's great. I put it back in the fridge.

I see some corn tortilla wraps. My mind whirls as it imagines all the things I can wrap in there to bring to work for lunch. I flip the package to read the ingredients on the back: "High fructose corn syrup." Okkkay, maybe I won't have this for lunch.

Please someone tell me if America really needs to be this deceptive. Food production companies telling its consumers that they use the "finest ingredients" when you can produce finer ingredients at home.

Yes, I can go to Whole Foods or Trader Joe's to buy my food but then my wallet would be empty all the time. Consequently, it shouldn't be a surprise that America is fighting obesity because most people can't even afford to buy good food or even trust the food market these days.

However, I'm glad that many food bloggers out there are showing to the world that we have SO many options to enjoy good food.

Let's continue to spread awareness about living a healthy lifestyle, whether it is with our food, friends, lovers, family, pets...whoever!

Cheers to happiness and food!

Imperfecting Perfections

Gena over at Choosing Raw brought up an interesting topic today. Jenna from Eat Live Run has already hit on this issue before when answering to a comment on her blog.

Admit it. As bloggers, we strive show the best of ourselves on our blogs--our best creations, our best selves, our best writing.

Yes, there are times when we admit certain flaws about ourselves to our readers but those occasions are rare because c'mon, who wants to hear about someone's woes on a daily basis?

As Jenna had said in response to a comment, blogging has made her part of the media. Thinking of topics that would fuel her readership is difficult, especially if done on a daily basis.

However, we don't mind scratching our heads for ideas. Humans like attention. Our eyes immediately light up when someone finds interest in what we do, who we are, and to know that someone out there cares. Thus blogging is a satisfaction.

Just like food.

But enough about why we do what we do. Since Gena had the guts to reveal her imperfections, I'd like to hop on that train and reveal something me too.



I try too hard. My attempt to be the "perfect" being means I freak out when things don't go as planned. It goes like this:
1) I discover my error
2) Calm on the exterior, panicking on the interior
3) Mind wants to correct error immediately
4) Rash decisions cause more mistakes
5) I correct my error and finish my task
6) I find out there was actually an easier way to the complete task

I don't like looking at myself in the mirror. To me, this is a good thing because I am very critical of myself. The less I am able to examine my imperfections, the less I will worry about them. Moreover, I hate taking pictures or even showing people pictures of myself. Therefore, posting a picture of myself for the food blogging world to see is actually quite bold and new for me. Creating this blog was about self-improvement so I figured being proud enough to show the whole who I am means I'm one step closer to self-acceptance.



*Smiles*

Blah Blah Blog

I know, I know. I'm horrible. I say I'll come back later but then disappear for a month.

A mother never abandons her child so I shouldn't either.

I'm sorry.

After sneaking around the food blog community for a while, I've come to a conclusion: this bond we've (food fanatics) created is the next Twitter or Facebook.


Best of all, you won't need to report to your mom what you ate today.

"Dear Mom,

I've created a food blog! Please don't call me to ask me what I ate; just micromanage my food blog.

Love,

Your All-Grown Up Daughter"




Wait. This blog isn't a type of correspondence between you and your mom. It's correspondence with the world (if you don't set any restrictions).

Let's take this analysis a bit further.

Hi, I'm a reader.

I'm also human.

I like your daily Greek yogurt with muesli for breakfast, sandwich for lunch, and a huge plate of salad for dinner but I can almost predict your menu for the following day.

I'm a girl. I need JUICE.

Yup. That's right. Readers want to know about the person behind the daily blogging and photo shoots.

Bloggers don't seem to mind. This show-and-tell has become a blogger's outlet. Not only are we discussing food but also our daily lives and we want our readers to become immersed in our problems, fears, and dreams.

We've taken one step forward. Let's take one step back. Has it ever occurred to anyone that we don't know each other yet we talk everyday?

Like going on a blind date.

Yet, we put our faith in our readers. We inhale their suggestions, praises, and criticisms as if they have been our friends for years.

Without knowing, we've created a support system just like Caitlin's Operation Beautiful.


I'm ready to share my food. Are you?



*Smile*

A little more on this later!

I am RUNNING right now :) Please leave me a message...

Mango Pancake

This may just look like a regular pancake, BUT it's not...

Let's look at this from the flip side:

The fluffiness of the pancake compliments so well with the softness of the mango. My family and I never use any syrup on our pancake so when the batches didn't come out as sweet, I drizzled honey on it.

PERFECT.

Here are some tips that helped me and might help you too during your pancake cooking adventures:

1) DON'T over mix. I've heard it from Alton Brown on Good Eats but his word of heed never really stuck in my head until I read the same again in another blog.

10 churns. Step away. Don't touch it. It really helps. (Lumps in the mix are actually acceptable *gasp*)

2) If your antsy hands happen to have over mixed your batter and your pancake becomes flat and flimsy, don't panic. Transform these pancakes into crepes. They will still taste great :)

3) DON'T add your "toppings" into your pancake mix. Wait until you're cooking the pancake and the uncooked side foams up. Then plump your toppings onto the pancake and gently press it into the batter. It helps the toppings stick to the pancake.

Okay. Let's get to the good stuff.

Recipe:

1 c whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

2 tbsp honey

1 c soymilk

Mangoes cubed

VEGAN CINNAMON BUNS

Sorry my friends, I only have a picture of my creation through the camera on my cellphone. Maybe I'll get a chance to snap of shot of it on my real camera before the buns get all gobbled up.

I must say I wasn't a true believer of this recipe at first because the rising time was so short for using yeast, but I followed the recipe exactly and it produced amazing cinnamon buns! I will definitely be using this recipe again :)

Recipe adapted from: Meg's Vegan Recipes

Rolls:

3/4 C unsweetend soy milk

1/4 C Earth Balance, softened

3 1/4 C all-purpose flour

1 (.25 ounce) package instant yeast

1/4 C white sugar

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 C plus 2 TBS water

Filling:

1 C brown sugar, packed

1 TBS ground cinnamon

1/2 C Earth Balance, softened (I use about 1/3 cup or a bit less)

Glaze: (I lessened the original recipe and took out the maple syrup and corn syrup)

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 C icing sugar

4 TBS unsweetened soy milk

Instructions:

Heat the soy milk in a small saucepan until it bubbles, then remove

from heat. Mix in margarine; stir until melted. Let cool until

lukewarm.

In a large mixing bowl combine 2 1/4 cup flour, yeast, sugar and salt;

mix well. Add water and the soy milk/margarine mixture; beat well. Add

the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring well after each

addition. When the dough has just pulled together, turn it out onto a

lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, about 5 minutes

Cover the dough with a damp cloth and let rest for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, cinnamon,

softened margarine.

Roll out dough into a 12x9 inch rectangle. Spread dough with

margarine/sugar mixture (if you want you can add in some raisins or

nuts).

Cut into 12 equal size rolls and place cut side up in 2 lightly

greased rounds pans. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 30

minutes. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Bake in the preheated oven for 20 minutes, or until browned. Combine

all the ingredients for the glaze in a small bowl and mix until

smooth. Let rolls cool a few minutes then drizzle with glaze.